please love them!not torture them!

i seriously dun understand people that really like to torture animals. especially the cutest and the most harmless animal on the planet...CATS! i have two cats of my own and i love them to death. i really dun noe what the hell these people are thinking when they abused, killed, and burn those cats. when i heard my cats meowing juz because wanna get some food from me, it really kills me inside because i cant imagine if sumone kept me waiting for my meal wen im hungry. i always think that cats and humans are meant to be together. dun get be wrong, i love other animals too, but, today, i wanna talk about cats abuse. recently, i went to some random page and i found out that people abuse cats for some stupid research and sometimes they abuse their cats juz for fun. WTF????!!! cats is the most harmless animals on the planet. the are helpless little animal that really need our love and care towards them. people in malaysia sometimes can amaze me in some disgusting behaviour. especially when they claim " AKU TAKUT KUCING.." i have a question.."KUCING TU BOLEH MAKAN KO KE?" yeah..yeah..i know...different people different opinions rite? but, come on, if you really dat scared, do you have to kick or shouting (ala-ala comel) wen u saw any stray cats around you. here's an idea... y dun, wen u tgh makan-makan with whoever, and u saw some stray cats around the mamak or restaurant, throw some of ur food far away from u and BELIEVE me wen i say this, the cats surely will go after the food and never gonna bother ur precious life again. but, sometimes this cutie fellas will come for more..so jz give them a little bit of ur food..im not asking u to give all of it..just some..its not gonna kil you!TRUST ME! *roll eyes* sometimes, words are not enuff to describe what kind of torture that some people are willing to do...so..just go to this link and you will understand http://www.all-creatures.org/anex/cat.html we can change it..if we want to...save them before it is too late...~

practical

its been a long time since i updated my blog..
im starting my practical on the 30th of november...actually, my practical really starts on the 1st december 2009, sincen its my bestie dad's company, i have to come a day early...just wanna cope with the environment and meeting new people.
the best part of my practical is, my bestie also work in the same place as the HR executive and she's the one assign me with various assignments.
all this time, i always thaught that HR work is the simplest work ever, GOSH!
im totally wrong!
its so damn hard. we have to record the workers attendance, the annual leave, unpaid leave, absent and mc. its totally a different thing and im screw up everything while im helping her to record the staff's attendance.
the good thing is, eventhough she's my bestie, she dun mind marah me eventho we are frens.
that's the best thing, because i came here to learn something, and believe me i learn alot.
i learn how to make a payroll for the staffs and the simplest assignment i done so far is filing.
i have to sort loads of documents and sometimes i help ina to do some accounts work.
basically, for me practical is fun because i can learn various stuff and not just management and marketing. But, everything. And, everyday, my bestie assign me with a new job so that im not bored do the same thing two days in a row.
that's all i wanna share with you peeps.

*6th August 2008*

i have to rmmbr that date somehow....the most painful day of my life~
i have to face the saddest thing in the world...i lost someone...someone that will always the most special man in my life..
someone that responsible bringing me in this world...
fed me...
love me...
treat me like im the only thing that mater in his life..
make me smile even tho he's crying inside...
make me laugh even tho he's not in the mood...

masa dia pergi, saya masih lagi memerlukan dia,
masa dia tinggalkan saya, saya masih lagi nak rasa sayang dia,
masa dia kata, dia takkan tinggalkan saya, saya rasa dunia ni saya yang punya,
tapi, dia tinggalkan juga,
sebab DIA dah panggil,
saya masih lagi ingat hari tu,
hujan sanagat lebat masa saya dan abang hantar dia 'balik',
saya dan abang rasa yang satu dunia pun nangis bila kehilangan orang sebaik dia,
hari sejuk,
tak panas langsung,
saya duduk sebelah dia,
dia tutup mata macam tidur,
dalam hati, saya harap dia bangun,
tapi, saya tahu benda tu mustahil,
saya tengok mak, tunduk nangis,
tengok abang,pun nangis,
air mata saya kalau ditadah hari tu boleh jadi perigi,
tapi, ada kawan saya kata tak baik nangis depan dia,
saya tak boleh tahan,
air mata saya tak boleh ditahan langsung,
saya sangat kecewa dengan keputusan DIA untuk ambil sesuatu yang saya sayang,
yeah...
saya tahu,
saya berdosa bila fikir macam tu,
tapi, apa boleh buat,
saya sayang sangat pada dia,
saya harap dia happy di sana,
dengan keadaan di sana,
yang mungkin satu hari nanti saya dan mak dan abang akan datang melawat dia,
dan kami akan bersatu lagi,
mungkin kami akan jumpa abang saya yang sulung di sana,

ayah,akak rasa hati akak ni macam dah nak pecah sebab selalu terkenangkan ayah,,akak harap apa yang akak doakan untuk ayah akan sampai pada ayah,akan tolong ayah di sana.
akak harap akak akan datang jumpa ayah secepat mungkin~rumah tu kosong tanpa ayah!mak pun harap benda yang sama, abang pun~kami rindukan ayah...genap setahun ayah pergi...

p/s: ayah saya pergi tinggalkan kami pada 6.8.2008, and today 6.8.2009 dah setahun dia tinggalkan kami!

COMPLICATED

bila im writing this, and ada orang yang baca, mesti nak angkat kening sebelah sebab akan tanya pada diri sendiri kenapa tulis benda bodoh macam ni???
and i will say..sukala!my blog...dush!dush!pegi main jauh2.
yesterday,rina asked me why the hell im not updating my blog?
saya juz mampu jawab, aktif...tapi...ada blog lain...
okayla...mengikut tajuk di atas,saya nak cerita kenapa hidup ni complicated....in my opinion...hidup ni mestilah ada sedikit problem,dugaan,sedih,nangis,n sebagainya la yang negative.
kalau takde, macam mana nak belajar hidup?
as my experience...i have loads of it...
been called a liar,backstabber and such but i moved on with my life hoping that things happen for their own reason~
i lost so much,but i found a few along the way.
now, i can stand and said to people that i am happy but a little sadness been added in my life at the same time.
why this things happen in human's life, saya sendiri tak tahu...
people always think if you have a bunch of so call frens, u are the happiest creature on earth! its all bulls!
for me, kalau hang with a bunch of people yang kita tak suka tapi terpaksa gak hang, lebih baik tak payah!
mesti ada yang ada roll eyes by now....
as for me, i dun have many frens in UITM..maybe ppl dislikes me for who i am...
ye la~
have to admit, im not angelic character myself...but,thinking again...korang ada ke jumpa yang manusia perangai macam malaikat sangat2???
mesti tak kan? klu ada, no num.phone dia leh?nak kenal gak!
i doubt it la..
hidup boleh diconsider complicated gak bila ada pula kawan-kawan yang kita anggap kawan ni time berbual dengan kita,kita dapat sense kepura-puraan mereka.
macam saje nak make conversation supaya tak feel awkward sangat nanti...wtf????
macam ni la...for me la kan..sesetengah manusia ni harus la hipokrt sebab nak jaga hati semua org..
takkanlah nak sound setepek kat muka orang tu bila dia tgh elok punya berlakon berbual ngan kita...hurm..perlikah???
apa-apa pun kawan,saya tetap ada complicated life whatever people wanna saya or do..GO TO HELL LA!

AKU ROBOT

tak boleh marah...
tak boleh sedih...
tak boleh emo...
tak boleh sakit...
tak boleh nangis...
tak boleh jerit...
tak boleh confront...
tak boleh lelapkan mata...
tak boleh duduk diam...
tak boleh rasa terharu...
tak boleh cakap....
tak boleh nyatakan pendapat...
tak boleh ada kawan...
tak boleh segalanya!!!!!
current mood : mysterious

TEARS IN MY EYES

i've watched michael jackson's memorial day on tv just now..
i have to admit that eventhough im not his biggest fan...but..it really breaks my heart when i saw like a gazillion people wish their good bye in so many ways...
the most touching part of all is when his daughter wished her father farewell...gosh...it really make me and ewin cry like crazy..
but, the weirdest thing is...when jacko is alive..i never even bother to watch any of his vid clips or show any interest in any of his songs because for me, but, after he's gone,i found myself watching his vid clips and amazed with every dance move that he make..
that guy really a legend...

Yang pastinya, that guy sangat hebat and nobody will ever replace him..

STUDY SEASON

so, im back to my study land, segamat..

what can i say...*sigh*
semua orang keep on saying yang semester last gonna be the greatest semester ever!
well...agak setuju dengan that saying...but..bagi saya personally its gonna be something that i will cherish for the rest of my life.
despite of what happen, it still kenangan yang indah.
bukan semua yang jadi tu jahat or bad...saya ambil secara positif dan ia akan jadi sesuatu yang menyukakan hati saya..err....*bahasa melayu agak skema dan terabur*
so...past few days...im quite re;ieved with what happen in my life...
and i lost so many...and i found a few..
agak teruja dengan kehidupan yang akan ditempuhi after my study here in segamat~
but then again...i will always welcome new things in my lofe...wooohooo~

FACEBOOK YANG simple

now, a lot of my friends dok melayan FACEBOOK.
sangat suka dan sangat best sebab sudah tak layan myspace and friendster lagi.
facebook lebih update dan lebih enjoy walaupun ada yang kata tak tahu macm mana nak guna facebook, nasihat free dari saya...tak tahu janganlah pandai-pandai nak guna.
macam buat menyemakkan mata dan minda.
walaupun ayat di atas agak puaka, tapi, ini adalah hakikat.
most of my friends sedang berjimba di facebook rather than MS and Frenster.
di facebook boleh tahu setiap apa yang difikirkan oleh kawan kita by that time.
marah ke? sedih ke? apa2 je la...
so...now....i prefer FB than anything....
it can connect me to my BFF and all my closest friend!
saya dah delete all myspace and friendster account...
bukannya kata MYSPACE and FRENSTER tak best, cuma keadaan yang agak menyepahkan minda dengan kehadiran wallpaper yang agak berat serta lagu dan video yang melembapkan membuatkan saya malas nak tunggu sampai page siap and DONE!
bila dengan FB, tak perku semua tu.
sebab tujuan utama ada FB hanya saya....KEEP CONNECTING WITH YOUR FRIENS NO MATTER WHAT!

so..to all the newbies in FB...wekcome and to all my FB frens..love ya...u know who u are...

pasar malam yang meriah

sebenarnya, petang tadi me n D pergi ke pasar malam Segamat yang tersangatlah meriah.
saya tak pernah tengok orang seramai itu.
mungkin sebab cuti.
neway, i wonder what's the best to eat for dinner.
after a long thinking, i've decided to buy nasi tomato and of course, with sambal lebih.
kakak yang baik hati dan ada sedikit pekak, meletakkan kuah lebih dengan muka bangga.
saya bayar dan blah.
and i singgah di kedai air kelapa laut...sungguh sedap.
abang comel tu bagi saya air kelapa dua dengan harga seringgit.
balik umah, cerita pada housemate, ema sangat jeles sebab air tebu dia singgit untuk satu.
balik je umah, im totally hungry and ate my nasi tomato and air kelapa. BURP!
wahhhh....
di sini saya ingin mengucapkan terima kasih pada makcik pasar malam dan abang pasar malam yang sudi menjual makanan yang sedap dan air yang enak untuk santapan saya pada malam ini.
dan tidak lupa juga pada D yang sudi temankan saya ke pasar malam sambil terserempak dengan B.Thank y'all!

~head crashing, heart jumping~

melihatkan tjuk di atas, keeps people wonder...wha the hell happen daya?
jawapannya...takde apa..im okay..saje nak jadi drama queen sekejap.
the fact is..my head is spinning.
my heart is aching.
my stomach start growling.
sebenarnya...im studying with my frens rite now...in a slow motion time that only some people understands.
saya rasa saya tak boleh fokus walaupun seminit sebab ada saja yang menganggu.
suara-suara D and B yang agak high pitching..memeningkan kepala ini...tapi at the same time, rasa aman dan damai dengan suara ini.
B dah mula meragam dan ingginkan lagu hindustan berkumandang.
D pula mula merengek bila latihan yang dibuat tidak mendpatkan hasil yang sama dengan jawapan tutorial.
sungguh tensen saya dibuatnya.tapi, apalah erti kehidupan jika tiada bunyian ini dalam hidup.
saya mula rasa yang saya dah mula off track.
D n B mula gaduh sikit-sikit and im enjoying the moment with them.
last but not least, D and B...gudluck for finals!

~i am totally bummed~

so, today my mood is totally not in the right places.
saya sangat marah, pissed off dan sebagainya.
maybe ini adalah sindrom tengah bulan yang selalu dialami oleh saya?
apa pun, saya rasa saya akan memenuhi sindrom ini as soon as possible, sebab saya tak suka bila keadaan saya macam ni.
sampaikan, one of my closest fren cakap yang muka saya macam mak grieving lepas mati anak or better yet, muka macam nak mintak penumbuk. so, bayangkanlah keadaan muka saya yang agak comot itu.
few days coming, saya akan menghadapi finals for my intersession subject.
so, thats number two reason kenapa i am totally bummed rite now.
kalau nak diceritakan kenapa saya ada feeling macam ni today, sila tengok kalendar and check today hari apa?
kalau anda tahu, sumpah! anda seorang genius!
but, i doubt it that u can actually guess why exactly im like this today.

p/s: im sorry dude! muka bukan nak mintak penumbuk..tapi nak mintak kene langgar lori...wtf??

~THE END OF INTERSESSION~

neway....my intersession here in Segamat almost finished....
part of me singing chirpy songs and part of me singing more chirpy songs!
anyhoo, banyak benda sebenarnya yang da jadi lately, and how i am glad to be part of it.
orang semua kata senang nak score intersesi ni, and i have to admit its partly true if u dun mess up ur time with other stuff that keep ur mind off the track...
sebenarnya, i want to take some courses while im doing my intersession, but, i have to juz lupakan my niat suci and i want to focus one thing at a time..
nanti...dua-dua pun tak jalan...
masa intersession ni banyak ajar myself the real meaning of something that i am meaning to search for a long time!
so...that;s it for now....

da, hope ur kaki will get well soon..love ya!

~di seremban~

so....aida kept asking me to keep on updating my blog....its not like i dun wanna update it..just a few things happen in my life..and i have to say..its rather happy things than sad ones...i just buzy wif some stuff that i have to handle...
sorry da...but, at least, i can spend my time wif you here in seremban...
we are going to a gig in mcpa hall to watch one of aida's closest fren...so...daaaa~
will update soon.

WHEN PUAN CHE PISSED OFF

today, i didn't come to PD class..

so do a dozen students.

maybe we thought that it's already the end of a study month...

so...dengan bangganya buat cuti sendiri,

turns out to be PUAN CHE really pissed off with this,

ye la...

berapa ketul je yang datang..

memang sangat menyedihkan bila PUAN CHE yang tak pernah mengamuk...marah-marah,

takut and macam-macam feeling bercampur,

aku takut impression PUAN CHE upon me will change secara tiba-tiba,

waaaaaaaa~

bukan sengaja tak datang,

ada sebab tertentu,

PUAN CHE yang disayangi...if you're reading this,

IM SORRY...

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

who do you think you are?

are u someone's bestfriend?

are u kind enuff to be someone's friend?

are u an angel?

or pretending to be one?

are u a poker face?

are happy with what you have now?

do u think your friends loyal to u?

do u think u innocent in that matter?

are u happy cheating on ur bf?

are u happy to be a BIATCH that couple with someoen because of his/her money?

are u happy to see others suffer?

are u happy to snatch others property?

are happy enuff?

i hope u rot in hell and never come back in anyone's life ever again!

u deserve for whatever happens to you!

u deserve it!

p/s: :)

TEST is HEAVEN

actually, now i'm updating my blog while fahmi presenting his website for our lecturer!

i feel wanna die!

the tension and stress is killing me inside!

today i have marcom test.

tomorrow at 3pm i have CTU test.

next week, on monday i have channel test.

on tuesday i have sales test.

and on the 2nd april i have IM test!

tadaaaaaa~

isn't it great?

my wonderful week full with wonderful test!

what a life.... ^sarcastic tone^

now, my life has a big turn..

it's like i have to start all over again.

the tension is lessen day by day.

i actually can breathe now.

3 S CAMPAIGN IN UITM SEGAMAT

first of all, i wanna congratulate MPP because they have the highest effort to make this campaign in our campus.

3S

S- SENYUM

S- SAHSIAH

S- SALAM

it's a great idea because it can bond the staff, students and lecturers.

but, the big question is, can they do it?

it just a simple thing if you ask me...

easy to smile..easy to say hi..easy to dress properly...

but, can we actually do it in a real act?

i dont think dat the students actually wanna greet the director of the campus..

i mean..come on..there's always a gap between every community in campus..

lecturers mingle with each other..

staffs have coffee only among them...

and students with their own clicks..

its just my opinion...

but,i cant see the BIG impact from this campaign..

after all...these days people keep on mind their own business rather than mingling with others.

so...MPP, great effort...but..you have to expand your activities that relevant to your campaign...i bet there's only a few students know about this.!

ANNOYING VOICE OF YOURS!

YA ALLAH!

OH MY GOD!

seriously????seriously????

gosh..your voice are so damn fucking annoying..

stop talking for once...

and let me have the peace.

your voice can produce annoying sound.

i dun know how u do it..but please stop.

when u start to open your mouth to talk,i just cant hear the words that you're saying,

just noise!!!

for the love of god..

please stop talking.

mute yourself.

do something.

go to some class that can teach you how to control your voice.

like chef wan said, listen to your inner voice.

so...why not, you use your inner voice..or a signal sign..

that would be GREAT..

p/s: SHUT UP YOU!

LETTER FROM ME TO YOU

hello,

how are you? im fine..same old things day by day,

the reason i type this letter to you is because i want to ask you what did i ever do to you?

as far as i know, i never did anything or talk bad things about you.

you keep your distance towards me and your looks towards me make my heart crush into pieces.

you n i not the same as few months ago.

you will come to my house.

we laugh together.

we cry together.

you've changed alot.

i never see this colour of you.

as far as i can remember, i can describe you as a colourful person.

now,the colour that i can see is only grey..why?

something bothering you?

something you know that burden you?

i want to share things with you.

can i?

let me be someone that you can rely on.

someone that u can trust.

last words from me to you...

LET ME BE ME...AND YOU JUST BE YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU FOR EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.

DISASTROUS WEEK

supposely, i wanna go back home this weekend,but,i have to cancel it because there are tons of assignments that i have to deal with..damn...

so,i have to bury myself with all this assignments and guess what?

i cant go home next week because there's a few test that i have to take...

i wish there is more than 24 hours a day so that i can manage my life and have more time to deal with things that keep on bugging me..

i keep on loosing grip with i m doing lately..and i have to sharpen my mind and stabilized my emotions..

i cant let myself down.

i have to wake up and realize that there are so many things that i have to do.

so,i have to start something new.something fresh.something that can let myself out from all this trouble.

the question remain...how i gonna do all this thing without any motivation from myself?

so,i've decided to just face any disastrous week to come with an open mind..cewah!

THINGS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND

people start to cry abt things dat they dont know how to tell,

people starts to be so persistent,

people starts to make faces to you,

people starts to change their attitude,

people starts to forget whats the good memories can do to you,

people starts to leave their friends just because of their gf/bf,

people starts to smile without any reasons,

people starts to limit their conversation with each other,

people starts to look at you in certain way that you dun understand,

people starts to have opinions towards you,

people starts to be mean,

people starts to be friends with their enemy,

people starts to breaking up with their gf/bf without any real reason,

people starts to talk with a total stranger,

people starts to become a total biatch,

people starts to cheat towards their friends and gf/bf,

p/s: basically, people starts to be freaks day by day..and im one of them...i just cant get them eventhough i am one of these people...

O.S.C.A.R

Recently,i've watched OSCAR online. i cant watched it on tv live because im in Segamat by that time. So, no astro here in my rumah sewa.
Anyhoo,i watched it just because im a big fan of HUGH JACKMAN! he is damn hot even for his age. and his accent just make me melting in front of my lappy!
the most interesting part is...he can sing!!!and his voice quite okay la.
and slumdog millionaire just make me proud to be asian.
susah bangat if nak nominated in oscar.
lebih-lebih lagi asian movies.
and hearing hugh jackman sebut and nyanyi 'slumdog millionaire' several times, can make me smile all the way.
alangkah bagusnya if, satu hari nanti, hugh jackman sebut one of our filem pula.
lagi bertambah kebanggaan as malaysia! and,for your info, i've watched slumdog and it realllllyyyy good. based on true story and the lifestyle in india yang sebenarnya.
not yang macam dalam kebanyakn filem hindi yang i;ve been watched all my life.
full of fabulousity and glamorous...but slumdog penuh dengan kedaifan dan it really teach me something.
u really have to watched la guys.
it really good.
and banyak benda yang dia boleh ajar kita~
macam-macam.
pendek kata, just watched la.

EMOTIONAL SEASON

Dunno why..but im having such a mood swing lately.
i cannot stop thinking about my mum back at home.missing her every minute of my life.
my mind keeps on wondering whether she's okay or what's she up to by the time i'm wrinting this blog.
i just wanna know everything.
i can cry for hours just thinking and missing her.
my heart and mind can't rest.
yeah..i know.i can just call her,but,it's just not enuff.
i wanna be with her.
always wanna stick together.
like i said before,im kinda emotional lately.
missing her make me wanna cry all the time.
yesterday,she called me.
and i said that im missing her.
she said that i have to be strong and make her proud.
i just can listen to her sadly and just nodded my head.like she can see me by that time.
waaaaaaaaa...............
i know im just mumbling and make you guys so damn bored by reading my blog today.
can't help it la.
mak,rindu kamu.
it's not like im not happy here,but the feeling of loosing someone i love just make me kinda possesive towards people i love.
can't bear to loose anyone again.
God,help me!

FISH DOCTOR

i just got back from giant,segamat.

before that,me n fara went for our dinner from the courtesy of zaza's scooter.
yeah fellas...i don't have any transport here in segamat.
neway,when we arrived at GIANT,fara buy some special stuff and me just pandang-pandang people around.
after fara pay for all her stuff, she went for an atm machine to withdraw some money.
and,by that time, i saw a pool of fish just swimming around in some kind of basin.
turns out to be its an eating-ur--legs-dirt fish.
im so excited to try it but, dun have enuff money for that.
fara offer herself to belanja me.
and i said okay!
its a little bit ticklish,but,very calming at the same time.
overall,thanx to fara and i really i enjoyed it!
there's some pics for u guys...

FLU+COUGHING=UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION

waaaa.....felling like crying right now.with a drippy nose and sore throat that im having, it just add up all the things that making my life miserable right now.
every seconds i will sneezing and coughing like s***.
just wanna get over this.i rather have a high fever than having a drippy nose like this.
i mean,i lost my sense of smell and it really makes me feel tired all the time.
i can't sleep at night. because the drippy nose making me hard to breathe.the coughing continues non stop.
i want to see a doctor but, i can't.
i ditched class today, and make my friend really mad at me.
left her all alone for the bel class.
im sorry una.really not feeling good.
she's quite pissed off with me right now.
can't do anything la darl...my drippy nose making me a lazy bump all of a sudden.

p/s:that's it for now.adios~

I'M SUFFOCATE

today,im quite stabilized in term of emotionally and physically.
but then, the day that goes by seems like never gonna ends any time soon.
i try to find my self in the middle of my hectic schedule as a student, here, in UiTM Segamat.
test that im having is such a nightmare.
just imagine the test is non stop from sunday till thursday.
and it just made my head wanna explode and i can feel the suffocation happening inside of me.
the assignment that always bulk up and never gonna stop can make me wanna puke just look at it.
waaahhhh..so many things to do.
the real things and the fake things.
im trying to find the true meaning of what has happened in my life this few days.
try to find the root and wanna juz to cut it off.
the love that i lost and the love that i have to find back.
it's really hard.
but,i have to deal with it.
im a big girl now.
i can handle it.
i can!

GUILTY AS CHARGED~

sometime,it makes me think that how the hell i am allowed to talk with people?because at the end of the day, i end up hurting them so badly.i can list to you what i can do with something that i call fucker's lips:-

1)ruin frenship that has been build for many years
2)backstabbed people that i love
3)make two people gado
4)make bad decision in life that can effect others
5)can make people suffer

so,that's the list that i can think of at the time.seriusly,im not joking~
i just can feel that i wanna to shut up for the rest of my life. every word that come out from my mouth can make severe damage!
so, to those people that i lie to,backstabbed to,do any bad things to...i juz wanna say sorry from the bottom of my heart.i really do.i know things will never be the same, and i accepted it with an open arm and heart.i was wrong.and it is a wise decision that u stay away from me to guarantee a happy life..because i might do it again~ i lost so many things this few days..in just a blink of eye...they treat me well,but what did i repay them...just a heartbreak and damaged soul...
as for me...days that goes by never let me feel peace...just give me the guilty feeling that eating me alive.i don't blame them to just leave me...
but,they are just too kind to be with me..seriously,things changed no matter how hard i wanna make things work between us.
i felt that i have to go~
far away~
far far away~
guys~i wanna make u happy.i love u.it never faded away.but,the feeling that i have inside just killing me to stay away from you guys.PEOPLE THAT I LOVE.beleive me although it is really hard to do so, im regretting what im doing to you day by day. last word that from me and im hoping this is the end "IM SORRY AND NEVER FORGIVE ME".
this may be a lesson for me and make me thinking that i never valued our frenship!our beautiful frenship that i ruined just like that!
p/s:im sorry.i really do.

phew~

today,im quite relieved because this last few days im feeling quite sleepy all the time..maybe the overload assignment and the upcoming tests make me feel a little bit tension.my head feels wanna explode at one point~
im missing my mum ALOT.juz wanna see her and be with her all the time. i have to learn how to appreciate people around me more these days.
i keep on hurting people that i love the most~just my stupid attitude when comes with friendship.i keep on telling people that i value my friends but actually im the worse person alive.
so,now,im trying to redeem myself and gain the trust.if i can i highly doubt it.so,i juz wanna fly low at the time~

~nice day for the calming soul~

neway, my day starts pretty good. The class that i'm having today is super damn boring. I just wanna kill myself. Gosh..my eyes cant even open up thru the whole class and im sorry sir. i do love you but, the way u're teaching really needs some help.
back home, i eat sambal sotong and fried egg. fara do it for me. thx to her im not starving today. huhu.
actually,nothing much to tell, just wanna update my journey of life to u peepers. u knw what, so many things happen yesterday. i hope i already do the best to make things better. but then again, conversation with each other is really important.u know, to know what's going on that's bothering u.
i juz wanna be a better person than i am yesterday. with the help of my friend, i hope i can. juz wanna make my anger dissapear and make things the way it is.
i dun like changes in life. i mean, the one that effect my everyday life. i hate that. i juz wanna things stay the same. but, i can't have that anymore. and i juz can be grateful to have what i have today. hope im not losing grip to it. really hope so.
the end~

~never ending happiness~

so, this is my experience semasa bergelar siswi. It's not that i'm not siswi now, but. masa ni lagi terasa because i actually live in college. So, the feelings not the same with me living outside campus. aku rasa, kamu semua tahu whenever kita duduk dalam asrama, waktu yang paling best sekali adalah berada di samping kawan-kawan yang sangat la sekepala dengan kita.
so, same goes with me. every moment counts!
and kalau tak silap, masa duduk asrama la yang paling best sebab kawan tiada hadnya.
setiap kali special occasion, mesti nak diraikan together. keadaan yang tidak meriah pun jadi meriah gila tahap dewa.
and aku nak share sama kamu semua moment yang paling funny dalam hidup aku.bukan lah funny, tapi...ntahlah.hard to describe. just watch this vid yang u all will know.

p/s: This vid diambil masa piya's burfday. Just me n mira je celebrate sbab burfday minah ni hari merdeka. So...enjoy...one mo, korang semua memang tahu aku suka bangat dengan cerita hindi, so...hehehe.

~me and HIM~

Aku ingat lagi masa kecik2 dulu selalu tengok ayah pergi kerja sambil hisap puting dan duduk sebelah dia.
Aku tanya pada ayah “ayah…nak ikut?”
Ayah toleh pada aku “Tak boleh..ayah nak pergi kerja.”
Aku tengok ayah jalan tinggalkan aku. Hati aku sayu sangat bila badan ayah dan badan aku semakin menghasilkan jarak yang maha jauh. Masa tu umur aku 6 tahun. Itu pun ingat2 lupa. Tapi..perasaan itu, aku ingat. Sedih dan sayu bila ayah tinggalkan aku.
Bila umur aku masuk belasan tahun, aku makin rapat dengan manusia yang aku panggil ayah!
Apa yang aku nak dia tunaikan, walaupun lambat.Aku mesti dapat apa yang aku nak.
Itu lah ayah. Dia sanggup carikan apa yang aku nak sampai aku puas hati. Jahatkan aku? Suka suruh ayah buat macam2. Ayah tak pernah bantah. Tak pernah kata TIDAK.
Bila ayah amik aku kat sekolah, aku suka sangat sebab tak payah nak duduk dalam bas sekolah yang maha panas dan berbau peluh budak2 cina yang bau lebih kurang sama dengan bawang putih! bayangkan masamnya mereka!
ayah akan tunggu aku dengan sabar. aku pulak jalan bagai itik pulang petang. ayah tetap sabar tunggu anak perempuan dia sorang ni. ayah selalu kata “akak…ayah kalau dah takde..sape nak layan kerenah anak ayah sorang ni..
aku pandang ayah sambil jeling sikit. (sakit ati kalau dia mention pasal dia ‘takde’)
“ayah nak pergi mana?Ah…jangan mengada..ayah akan stay jadi ayah akak sampai bila2.”
ayah gelak je.balik rumah dia mengadu dengan mak..dia cakap yang aku tak nak lepaskan dia. aku nak susahhkan dia sampai bila2.tapi, lepas tu mak cakap, kalau tak dia tak nak aku susahkan dia, jangan layankan sangat perangai aku ni. tapi lepas tu dia jawab…mana boleh…dia ada anak perempuan sorang je. itu lah racun.itulah madu.
aku baring atas katil sambil senyum puas!yes!aku punya kedudukan dalam hati ayah lagi ‘UP’ dari kedudukan mak…huhu..sorry mak..daughter always win!
aku ni pencinta binatang..sebut aja apa yang aku nak bela..semua ayah belikan. rabbit..hamster…kucing…burung,,,semuanya ayah tunaikan. dia suka bila aku sayangkan binatang. bila kucing atau one of my pets mati..aku nangis macam nak gila. ayah selalu cakap…ni baru kucing yang mati..kalau ayah atau mak yang mati macam mana? aku terdiam!
tak pernah terlintas kat kepala otak aku ni yang mak dan ayah akan tinggalkan aku satu hari nanti. hidup aku terlalu best, hinggakan aku tak pikir pasal benda mengarut macam tu!
umur aku masuk 20…hidup masih lagi best. aku tak tahu erti hilang dan sedih yang boleh rasa macam dada rasa nak pecah!
masuk 22,aku rasa kehilangan yang pertama. abang!
masuk 23,kehilangan terbesar..ayah kesayangan aku. aku tulis benda ni dah lama. tapi…aku tak pernah rasa nak post bagi korang baca apa dalam hati aku ni..sekarang aku nak korang baca…motif? takde…saje je nak share..ada orang kata sharing is loving…apa2 pun…hargai ibu bapa korang selagi diorang ada dan spent as much time yang boleh dengan mereka…..believe me…every time u spent wif them..is really damn worth it!

stupid boring ass life!

today,i’ve just finished my reading. yeah…i do read…believe or not.
currently im listening to morning musume pepper keibu (thanks to aida n fahmi) and also britney’s womanizer.pretty nice songs!
the whole day, im watching greys anatomy marathon.
ive watched it non stop. just keep going and wanna know what’s next.
gotta tell you, sometimes Meredith deserve wutever happen to her and she has to stick to wutever she wants in life. poor Derek. and dun get me started with izzie. enuff already with ur sob story. get over it and fuck alex. he’s damn hawt! plus, he loves you!
i wanna start read my second book. just bought it. pretty damn good. and thanx to zaza that introduce me to Rachel gibson’s work. she’s brilliant! cant make me stop reading for a sec.
haih~
i dunno where to start. actually, my life pretty boring. no boyfren to lovey dovey with. no drama to share and no sex story to tell. just the plain me with stupid reading habit!
i just have interesting frens that i love so much…
i think..that’s it for today. will update soon…

p/s:memandang kan aku takde line internet di rumah(but now dah ada), so, aku kena tulis apa yang aku rasa dalam words and paste kat blog ni. aida dah bising sebab takde update about my life. bukan takde…jz…takde apa yang nak dicakap!

+it really teaches me something+

okay...i watched this movie and it really inspired me in so many ways..i can't call it a lame movie because it don't suits that category. So, i wanna share this with you guys..
the story is just simple and really suits me. a simple girl with a simple mind. and then, i realize that i really need that. the things that happen in this movie...i mean who don't want that true love just popped up in their life right?it really caught my attention through out the whole movie. i really fall in love with this movie and i can't wait to watch the sequel.
i watched it with my cousin and the story is all about a vegeterian vamp who fall in love with a simple girl.
the storyline is not that great, but, believe me, it really drag me in this fantasy world that i create myself.wahhhh....a vamp...a hot one...

+My Rocking Classmate+

Every blog has to have their own spice in every story that they wanna tell people about...it reflects the blogger and the people that surround their everyday life. My friends are very colourful, and they really make my life myterious everyday with their every acts. I never imagine myself without any friends that I can share my thoughts and feelings with. Just cannot picture myself devastated alone and someway somehow I want to drag someone with me. Not in a bad way, but, in a good way.
Everyday in my life I always want to figure out who is my true friend...or maybe just someone that i can cry on their shoulder..
Lucky me..I have a rocking classmates and I really appreciate them in every way I can.
I never knew who hate who and who like who the most..but I have to make sure that I am the real person and i am not trying to fake anything when i am infront of them.
At first, my class has this kind of clan that you can obviously see. the nerdy one, the rocking one, the cool one and list goes on.but, surprisingly, my class really united in their own mean way. yeah.. i know..we can be so damn united when something don't go our way.
sometimes, i can feel the hate vibe in my class..i mean u can imagine urself in a full loaded action movie when u place urself in that situation.
the look just make me wanna kill myself.some of my actions have their own reasons and please don't call me backstabber or anything, believe me, i have my own reason to do anything that i've done in past few days.

p/s: for those who doesn't appear in this photo, please forgive me, i don't have ur pictures with me...

+when he starts to care+

actually, my day went pretty well today.. got text message from rina-san saying that this blog has to be finished by this week..give me an immediate headache...but...for the sake of the marks..i'm willing to jump any tall building any day now. so, the story begins with my brother and his broken leg due to the accident last week..he has to be at home for the whole three months. it's a good thing because he can have his full recovery within that amount of time. so,my beloved cat, simba, he really loved us like we love him. i mean, since my bro passed away, and my dad follows, simba really took care of my mum and my brother while i'm in segamat. maybe it's funny for u guys, but, it really moved me when i saw him actully follow my brother's footstep just to make sure that he's safe. i mean...how cool is that. even an animal can learn to love somebody if we love him unconditionally. so, its remind me of a movie that i've watched a few days back,it's about loving your family no matter what condition they're in. no matter your brother is reatarded or just plain evil, we just loved them no matter what. no question asked. so, guys,the movie titled YUVRAAJ..yeah its a hindi movie..what do you expect..im such a crazy toons for this kind of movie. don't make any faces okay..! it's my interest, so back off!


p/s: This vid is actually taken when Simba is following my second brother to the toilet..to make sure he's safe.HOW CUTE...i just wanna eat him up!

~when I Start To Realize...~

Yesterday, i've realized that my life is not all that bad..I have great family and amazing friends to share all the burden in the world with me. Enough said, I just wantna share the feelings of having great people in your life. And this blog really give me the chance to share all my opinion in anything that;s happening in my every day life.
nothing interesting actually, but, the intention to share with you just came to me a few days back. I have another blog site, but, since something happen in my life, I never have the chance to update it. Coincidencely, my beloved lecturer gave me an assignment and he want me to do a blog with some requirements that we have to fulfilled.Marks involved so I have to make sure that this blog gonna be awesome.
Nothing much to say for the first one, but, I guaratee you there's more to come.
When you read my headline, you must be wondering what the hell i've been realizing my life that I wanna share with you.
Well, for the first story, I wanna share some opinion about a movie i watched recently. Its hindi movie called DOSTANA. It's funny and really teaches me the true meaning of friendship. Before, I never realize that I actually have that kind of friends that i can rely on and trust.
So, to all u peeps out there, just wanna say, do appreciate friendship because it really make your miserable life wonderful!

p/s: This videi is super funny and it is from DOSTANA.Enjoy and do comment!